It's been a while since I wrote a personal blog post.
I've been spending my time the last week trying to break some nervous repetitive habits that I have, and getting a little out of my comfort zone. I've been going through drive-thrus, talking on the phone more often, ordering food that I'm not used to, and trying to do things without a mental script. (Yes, that includes talking to women!)
However, it seems that there's really something stopping me from letting go of the past. For the past five years, whenever I see or meet any woman that seems like they show an interest in me or shows any more interest than being friends, I deliberately stand back from getting any further and hold at arm's length.
I'll be nice and play it off as a joke, or if they text message me, I will hold off on responding.
I try and reason it out in my head: People will only risk into going in a relationship with someone they don't really care about so when they leave, not much loss is felt. It's better to be friends with someone so you'll always be cool with them and there never really has to be a goodbye.
Part of me wants to take things further, though it would be nice to be in a relationship again, I really don't think I'm ready yet, and I still need some healing time.
.
I've been spending my time the last week trying to break some nervous repetitive habits that I have, and getting a little out of my comfort zone. I've been going through drive-thrus, talking on the phone more often, ordering food that I'm not used to, and trying to do things without a mental script. (Yes, that includes talking to women!)
However, it seems that there's really something stopping me from letting go of the past. For the past five years, whenever I see or meet any woman that seems like they show an interest in me or shows any more interest than being friends, I deliberately stand back from getting any further and hold at arm's length.
I'll be nice and play it off as a joke, or if they text message me, I will hold off on responding.
I try and reason it out in my head: People will only risk into going in a relationship with someone they don't really care about so when they leave, not much loss is felt. It's better to be friends with someone so you'll always be cool with them and there never really has to be a goodbye.
Part of me wants to take things further, though it would be nice to be in a relationship again, I really don't think I'm ready yet, and I still need some healing time.
.
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